All the Wrong Places
by SiriuslyBwitched
Summary: Sick of all the sleazy guys she'd been set up with, Hermione was about to give up on it all until a certain wizard met up with her. bad summary, but check out the story!. Oneshot. MF.


London weather in late autumn can be described as one thing: shitty. The leaves have fallen to the ground while rain pours over them creating a mushy, slippery gook that can piss off anyone. But in this case the person was _already_ pissed off as the rain continued to rain heavily down upon the slick streets.

The 24-year old Hermione ran into 12, Grimmauld Place, but she stopped to turn around and she screamed at the man who had dropped her off.

"WELL SORRY THAT I'VE GOT A BETTER JOB THAN YOU, YOU STUCK UP, JEALOUS TWIT!!" she yelled just before shutting the door.

"Hermione's home!" shouted Fred.

"Hide your goods, guys!" warned George.

"Knock it off you bloody idiots, and STOP eavesdropping!!" Hermione retorted, wiping her rain-soaked bangs out of her face. She had just ended her final attempt of a relationship with Clyde Walton, a Ministry worker in the Mysterious Muggle Mishaps division in the Department of Mysteries. _Last time I'll ever be set up by Arthur Weasley again_ she vowed.

"How is that eavesdropping when the entire house can hear you scream?!" asked Fred.

"Gotta be more careful when you have your _'it's over!'_ hissy fits, Granger" added George.

"Oh, BUGGER OFF!" she pushed the twins out of her way, getting through to the library down the hall where a comfy couch and a plethora of books waited for her.

This was part of her usual break up routine: cry herself out of her relationship woes, curl up on the couch with a book to read until her eyes stung from her shed tears and exhaustion, then sneak into the Sirius's secret stash of firewhisky to bring up to her room where she would drown the rest of her sorrows until she passes out. As with her nonexistent skills at Quidditch, Hermione's relationship problems never gained any sort of an improving level, they only end up getting worse.

Hermione grabbed a handful of tissues and a random book from the bookshelf and plopped miserably on the big couch, tears already streaming down her face. She sat there a bit without taking a glance at her book, busying herself with mopping up her tears with the clump of tissues in her hand. _Why does this ALWAYS happen to me?!_ It took her a good 10 minutes to get her tears under control, which allowed for her to finally pick of the book that she picked. However the book she chose was Chocolates and Flowers_: What All Witches and Wizards Can Learn from Muggle Relationships_.

"Bloody HELL!" Hermione screeched, tossing the book towards the far wall. _Even the UNIVERSE is laughing at my dismay! _Feeling guilty, she slid off the couch to pick the book up and put it on the shelf where she knew she wouldn't look at it again. She ran her fingers against the spines of several hundreds of books before she finally gave up her search for the perfect book to read. _Maybe I should skip this part of my routine and go straight for the firewhisky…_

Ever since she found a way to get Sirius out of the veil in the Department of Mysteries, Hermione had become internationally recognized throughout the wizarding world with her magical talents and her inquisitive mind. This of course intimidated any man who Hermione chose to go on a date with. She had been asked to become the Project Executive of the Department of Mysteries, but she decided to continue down the path to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement by taking an even higher position in that department. No matter how down-to-earth she acted, men couldn't seem to get past the fact that she had a better position at the MoM, high creditability at her job, and plus other factors.

Hermione snuck up the stairs at about 10:30pm, traveling to Sirius's room to get into his liquor cabinet. It was Friday night and there was always a long-running Order meeting so she didn't have to worry about Sirius catching her stealing a bottle every Friday that ended with a bad date (which has been about ever two weeks or so). Sirius hasn't questioned his dwindling supply of firewhisky; he probably just assumed that he drank more than he thought he had (which isn't uncommon).

She slowly turned the doorknob and walked into Sirius's room. _Does he ever dust or clean at all?!_ she wondered. To the far wall she found his liquor cabinet, filled with bottles of aged Muggle brandy, various Muggle and Wizard spirits, and Hermione's and Sirius's poison of choice, firewhisky! Hermione knelt down to the cabinet and took her wand out of her pocket, whispering the incantation _Alohomora_ and the cabinet lock opened instantly with a little _click_ noise. _Someday I'll repay him for all the bottles that I've taken…_

It only took her a few seconds to grab one of the firewhisky bottles and relock the cabinet before she got up and ran out of Sirius's room, but this time there was a barricade; a hard, breathing, dark one at that.

"Sirius!" Hermione gasped, slipping the bottle further behind her back.

"_Tsk tsk tsk_, I would have thought you better than becoming a common thief, Miss Granger" commented Sirius, his head making mock headshakes of disappointment.

"It's not wha--, I've neve--, How _DARE _you accu_--…_I'm sorry…" she stuttered, not quite sure of what she should have said. _Never thought I would actually get caught…_

"I know people tend to drink away their sorrows, but you were an exception to that I thought! You have such an intelligent manner about you that I would have thought you'd choose a better way of making yourself feel better."

"Ha, intelligent manner! That is just one of the many things about me that make men cower in fear over about me! Like last month Jeremy Spindle cut the date short because I kept correcting him about the history of wizard-to-goblin relations, and then there was--"

"Hermione, that does mean that you shoul--"

"I'm not finished!" she interrupted, index finger shoved in front of Sirius's face. "Then there was Brayton Meriwether who said I was too opinionated, and lets not forget Simon Rigby and his _"I like my women quite" _speech!"

"'Mione, those guys were assholes, don't let them get to you,"

"How can I _NOT_ let them get to me?? Haven't you noticed that every time I come home from a date that I end up screaming before I shut the door, hmm? That there are balled up tissues tossed around the library? That your firewhisky supply is running…oops" she stopped, realizing that she never mentioned taking Sirius's alcohol before. Sirius just smirked, one hand placed on his hip.

"And do you honestly think I'm stupid enough to not realize that you've been hurt, and that I'm in need of a new shipment of firewhisky??" he joked.

"Well…" Hermione started, but then just gave up. She sat herself against the end of Sirius's bed, starting to cry all over again.

"It's just so hard, Sirius! I feel like I need to bottle up my intelligence and opinions in order to actually have a _shot_ of a relationship that lasts longer than a week…"

Sirius sat beside her, his arm draped over her shoulder "Have you ever thought of looking for men in places other that at MoM? I mean you could head to the Leaky Cauldron and get several guys to buy your some firewhisky without actually stealing it." he grinned. Hermione gave him a watery smile.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe I'm bound to fail. Did you know my only somewhat serious relationship was with Ron? And look how that turned out, we broke up because sleeping with each other had the same amount of spark that you would get if a brother hugged his sister" she shuddered, not wanting to relive that awkward moments.

"Here's what you're going to do. First, you're not going to sulk anymore, so give me the firewhisky," he demanded, Hermione reluctantly giving the bottle back to him.

"Second, stop trying so hard to find some guy! At least you have the freedom to roam around without being worried that you'll be found and taken back to Azkaban like I am…" he drifted off. Sirius is still considered a highly dangerous wizard so he can't leave the house unless he wants to get caught by the Dementors.

"And third," Sirius started, moving a piece of hair away from Hermione's face. "Just relax. Things will fall right into places without you worrying about them."

Hermione looked at Sirius, a smile plastered on his face. "Why are you so nice to me? I thought you could care less about me…" she started, tears pooling in her eyes for the third time today.

"Now why would you say that? I care more about you than you'd ever know" he said in a low voice that when Hermione heard it she knew he meant it.

Hermione was still on the foot of Sirius's bed when she looked back up at him. She noticed a warm yet affectionate look in his eyes unlike any other she had seen.

"But what do you mean more than I'd ever know?" she questioned in a quiet voice, her eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Well, lets just say that the feelings I have for you would send Mrs. Weasley to kick my ass in a matter of seconds," he smirked.

Hermione continued to look at him with a quizzical look on her face. She began to put the pieces together about Sirius and how he treated her this evening: _he was waiting at the door for me to come out of his room, he suggested to me that I should look in other places for men, listening intently to my relationship troubles, virtually cradling me in his arms as I cried, and looked at me as if I was the only person in the world…_

Though unsure of herself, Hermione moving up to Sirius's face and kissed him, her lips pressing hard against his lips with such need that it took his breath away. His hands found his way to Hermione's hair, weaving his fingers within it. As quickly as it had started, Hermione broke the kiss and jumped to her feet.

"Sorry, sorry…I don't know what came over me… I, I…" she stammered, walking back and forth in front of the bed, looking at her feet rather than at Sirius.

Sirius stood up and walked towards her, putting his hands on her shoulders to stop her from pacing. He forced her gently to look up into his eyes, a sly grin forming on his face.

"Maybe this is just what we both need now. We both have our own problems but there is one that we both share: feeling alone," he said, his hand moving up to cup her cheek.

Sirius looked down at her and started to kiss her, this time with more passion. Hermione responded eagerly to his kiss as she allowed his tongue entrance. She moaned against his mouth when Sirius lowered her back onto the bed, his hands moving from her hips to her waist, her shirt wrapped around his thumbs. His mouth moved up her jaw to her ear where he whispered "You have no idea how long I fantasized about this," which caused her to moan yet again.

"You're not the only one with these fantasies, Sirius," Hermione replied seductively, her back arching up to rub her pelvis against Sirius's. A low growl escaped his throat as he broke away from her to lift her shirt over her head. He continued to undress her by unhooking her bra and tossing it aside. Sirius started to bend over to better reach Hermione's breasts when she pushed him away, allowing her to switch positions.

"Now that isn't very fair, is it Sirius?" she taunted as she motioned to her bare chest and his fully clothed body. She ran her fingernails up his shirt over his toned stomach and chest, skillfully removing it and adding the shirt to the growing clothing pile.

"You won't be needing these, either" she grinned, slowly running her hands down to the front of his black jeans, tightened by his continuously growing bulge. She unbuttoned them easily and zipped them down where she was greeted by his very erect arousal.

"You're driving me mad, witch!" he hissed as she dragged his pants down his legs, brushing her hands over his bulge slowly until she got passed it. He had enough of her teasing; her swiftly flipped her back onto her back and pulled down her skirt and panties in one movement.

He moved down to the end of the bed by Hermione's feet, working his way up her body. His hands felt up her calves all the way up to her thighs where he stopped. He bent his head down to her inner thighs, kissing each one but never moving to her heated crux where she so desperately needed to be touched. Hermione moaned as his lips drew closer to her center but failed to meet her needs.

"Sirius, please, I need to feel you…" she whimpered. With a smile on his face he granted her wish. He kissed her gently against her delicate folds, drawing his tongue up her slit to her clit. Hermione wiggled in bliss as Sirius's mouth met her clit once again He began to suck on her sensitive spot, a squeal of pure pleasure given to him in response. He began to go back and forth between tongue-fucking her cunt to sucking her clit, but then he added two fingers into her wet core.

"Oh, Sirius, I'm…I'm...OH GODS!" she yelled, her orgasm rippling through her whole body. Sirius lapped up her release, smiling to himself. _Damn I'm good._

Sirius moved up to Hermione's head, her eyes still fluttering from the orgasm. He leaned down to her just inches away from her ear. "Do you know how delectably delicious you taste?" he asked in his low, husky voice. She shuttered once again without uttering a word. He kissed her in such a fevered manner, the remnants of her own juices mingling between their mouths.

Hermione broke the kiss once again only to say, "I need to feel you, all of you, inside of me."

That was all Sirius needed. He pulled off his boxers and met Hermione's cunt with his throbbing penis, entering her with such force that it caused her to cry out in both pain and ecstasy.

"Gods, 'Mione, you're so tight, I don't know how long I'll be able to last!"

"Then lets go for a ride," she said, arching her back to receive the best angle of penetration.

The two moved together in harmony, as if it was some sort of sexy and planned out dance. Every thrust, every penetrating drive was met in unison.

Sweat dripped down Sirius's face as he quickened the pace. It would only take a few more thrusts before he met his own release, Hermione could see it in his face. She pulled his head down to her lips as she captured his with hunger. She moved to his ear to whisper, "Cum with me, Sirius, let my walls milk you for all you've got." As if on cue, her body began to shake and tighten.

"Oh, 'Mione, oh, FUCK!" he roared as his cock was constricted by Hermione's contracting inner walls. He spilled his release into her as Hermione was sent to her own nirvana-like bliss. They collapsed against each other, both trying to regain their sanity from their sex-induced high.

Hermione rolled on her side, meeting Sirius's sweat-glistened face. She smiled happily, finally getting the pleasure and attention that she deserved. She kissed his softly as she cuddled against his chest.

"I guess I _was_ looking in all the wrongs places." she sighed, falling asleep in Sirius's arms.


End file.
